Clara

Clara is the most adorable of all the ladies on the third floor. She is permanently a child who just got over breast cancer.

"My doctor says I'm cancer-free for two years and now I just take things one day at a time!"
"I LOVE apples/tomatos/naps/peaches. Ever since I was a child!"
"My family bought this [item of clothing] for me. It is the warmest thing in my closet!"
"I lost my shoes! I can't seem to find them anywhere!" [Note: they are on her feet, switched, of course]

I got to feed Clara today. Every few bites, she tells me that she can only eat half of what's on the plate. With only 1/4 meal left, she finally realizes that she is full. She can still remember how to drink out of cups, just no memory on how to use utensils. She is always excited to see fresh fruit and vegetables. I tell her that tomatoes are my favorite fruit, and she tells me that she didn't know they were not vegetables.

When I got done toileting Clara and it was time to brush her teeth, that's when lulz ensued pretty hard. She has a false top and partial bottoms. She can not figure out how to take out both. She pops out the top and hands it to me, but then grabs them back and pops them back in to pop out the bottom falsies. Finally, I figure out how this game works as I make the bottoms disappear into the teeth tray and she spits out a leftover strand of food, which lands on my wrist. We both have a laugh and I ask if she remembers how to pop out her bottom teeth. I would reach in and try to grab them myself, but I don't want to risk scraping her gums with my nails because they will bleed forever. Finally, I hold up a toothbrush with some paste on it and she casually hands me her bottom falsies. I drop those into the tray with an A.S. and hand her the toothbrush which receives a vacant stare of utter confusion and I remember that she can't do this. So I brushed the leftover teeth in her mouth, most cased in silver.

Spitting...now that's something I don't think happens unless it's totally unintentional. I keep handing her something to rinse and spit into but it keeps disappearing down her throat. I tell her she did her best and put her into bed and tuck her in.

Clara's room always smells horribly stale because she is roommates with Rita. Rita likes to flood the sink at least 3 times a day. She will sit on the toilet with the water running, unclogged, which makes me think a good dose of Drano may help the whole situation. I'm guessing the water gets left on to help her pee, which is a good method I suppose.

It's always the best comedic act ever when Rita and Clara get together and, as a team, are the most absent-minded form of Alzheimer's I've seen. As I was doing rounds earlier today, both Clara and Rita were prevented from wandering as aimlessly as they do- Rita especially with her robe always shifting off one shoulder or the other- by the 'Life Enrichment and Activities' all-around cutest guy evars, Gabe. Later in the day, they explain 'what a charmer that Gabe is' and I very much agree.

Rita and Clara both told me how much they love having me around and did I know they were friends for 50 years? Isn't it the most insane thing ever that they ended up as roommates after all that time?

Yes, it's the craziest coincidence I've ever heard of or witnessed in my life. You've made a believer out of me, ladies. ;)